Before I knew it I was watching a full 22 minutes of C and D list celebrities waiting for their cars at valet stands. The more boring or mundane the activities these “celebs” were engaged in the more I wanted to watch.Look, there’s Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo drinking coffee.

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I have a little TV on my desk but I don’t turn it on until for People’s Court.

Have I ever told you how much I love People’s Court?

The mere mention of People’s Court makes me kiss my fingers while making the “muah” sound like a cartoon Italian chef on a pizza box.

I would like to preempt any desire you might have to tell me to “burn my TV.” It’s not going to happen so I don’t want to hear it.

I don’t need to be told to turn off the TV and pick up a book so fight that urge you fucking hippies.

Now that we have that unpleasant talk out of the way I can explain why I even know who this guy is.You see, I used to be like you and would ignore programs like TMZ.Anyway, thanks to the programming change I started listening to TMZ while working.I would occasionally glance over but only to make myself feel superior to the idiots who watch this crap.A few disapproving glances turned into watching an entire “story” about Pauly Shore waiting for his car at the valet stand.Next thing you know I’m watching a hard hitting piece on Tori Spelling and that husband of hers waiting for their car at the valet stand.