But quite often we get into this rut where he wants sex more than you do, and so he’s the one who always initiates making love. Men are usually afraid of getting rejected, and if he tends to have the higher sex drive in your marriage, he may have conditioned himself to never think about it, or to try not to assume you’re going somewhere, because he doesn’t want to get his hopes up. And you’re not even sure how to initiate sex, because you’ve never really done it! When I was researching my book The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, I did surveys and interviewed both men and women.

Top 10 women to sex chat-46Top 10 women to sex chat-77

I realise this is not usually what women are communicating with sex and saying no, but it is what men feel.

Even when you convince a man this is not what she means, he will still feel it. –and help your husband feel like the most blessed man in the world! The following do NOT count as initiating sex: (Sorry, that’s the Canadian coming out in me in the last one).

When a man feels a good sexual connection with his wife he starts to want other forms of intimacy. The need was always there, but it is hard to hear over the much louder need for sexual intimacy. If you’re going to initiate, the first step is NOT telling him “do you wanna?

” The first step is getting in the right frame of mind for sex so that you’re enthusiastic about it, too! Because often as soon as the thought pops into our heads we talk ourselves out of it.

If you say he’s initiated all 5, that could be a problem! Think about it this way: This is the only man on earth who can touch you like that. But practice little things, like saying to him the morning after you made love, “I had fun last night”, or “you made me feel great! If you’re embarrassed about saying, “do you want to make love tonight? My husband was leaving for a business trip for a week recently, and he was spending the morning before he was picked up sorting papers and paying bills and getting some tasks done around the house. Come up behind him, wrap your arms around him, start nibbling his ear, and let your hands wander.

Now, I know sometimes you just start making love because you’re kissing and snuggling, and it’s not clear WHO initiated. If you grew up thinking that only boys wanted sex, and girls just acquiesced, then you may think that it’s your role to sit back and just respond to him. He’s the only man on earth who really truly knows you. I kept getting up from my computer whenever he got up from his and walking over and seeing if I could get him interested in something, but I never let him know what I was doing. But after following him around like a puppy dog for an hour, he finally turned to me and said, “are you okay?

It just happened (all the more reason to go to bed at the same time, so that things can “just happen”! And sometimes he has a really low sex drive, and so the whole initiation pattern is thrown off. ”, and I said, “I just thought we could go upstairs for some fun before you left.” He jumped on board immediately.

I’ve got a series for women in that situation here. I had thought he was busy and was rejecting me, but he just really didn’t know what I was getting at.

And inside marriage sex is supposed to be a wonderful thing for both of you! Once you’ve caught his attention, and you’re heading to the bedroom, don’t let the initiation end.