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In every dating environment, whether it be casual, exclusive, or hell, even an engagement, one partner is the settler and the other is the reacher.
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Every relationship has what “How I Met Your Mother” has dubbed a settler and a reacher.
In other words, one person in the relationship settles for the other, who is involved in a relationship with someone out of his or her league, the settler.
Now, I'm sure you have all heard of this phenomenon before, but I'd like to elaborate a bit on my feelings about this dating pattern.
The moral of the story is that this can be applied to every single type of romantic relationship.
My second example is of two people who are hooking up. But, the two actually genuinely enjoy each other's company.
Now if, say, for a second here, the girl is slightly more into the guy than he is into her, she is always anxious to hear from him.
What ends up happening is she thoroughly entrenches herself as the reacher.
It’s obviously very well within chance that she is the better looking person, but if she establishes the “want” more so than the guy in the situation, she is going to be the one always reaching for him in the context of their relationship.