Karlie: I never know what to say when u get like this Karlie: you have one of your cats with you, right? Sarah Jessica turns to Matthew Broderick in the car as they approach the hotel. “Hey, can we at least wait until your toast for the—“ “As my husband said he wasn’t amused, my thoughts turned to a muse of my own.” Matthew grimaces, “Who’s the muse of your own? Like, I’m the bridesmaid who has to watch the bride’s dress and make sure she doesn’t fall, you know?

It is truly a scandal of humongous proportions and, before you know it, anonymous sources are coming out of the woodworks left and right with stories of love, romance, and “taking things slow.” Because it’s exactly like if they had fallen in love with a normal, except with the added bonus of having their own IMDb page.

So, just for kicks, let’s take a look at a bunch of really, ridiculously famous celebrities who make no bones about dating someone much less famous than themselves.

Jennifer Lawrence is rumored to be dating Chris Martin.

Her husband enters the room, watching from behind the counter.

I just nominated him for the Ice Bucket Challenge.” “Did he accept your challenge, though? She then caresses it before shoving it to the other side of the table.

Anne Hathaway slams her phone against the wooden kitchen table three times. Taylor: yeah, they’re both here Taylor: they don’t think john saw me, either Taylor: I’ll be home in 15 Taylor: come over and we’ll bake muffins Anne Hathaway joins Instagram. “Oh, just picking a filter for my picture.” Jennifer Lopez and ex-boyfriend Casper Smart are photographed driving in the same car in Los Angeles. “It was on the eve of my best friend’s wedding, that I wondered . I don’t get it.” “Oh, I’ve got it,” Sarah Jessica says. Gwyneth Paltrow lays her chopping knife down in a pile of parsley, and then reaches for her phone to call Beyoncé. I can’t even finish this blackbird oil salad.” “Blackbird oil wh—? She can make Chris bacon dunked in chocolate sauce dunked in Fun Dip for lunch. My kids get to play with Katniss Everwood or whatever the hell she’s called. Who wouldn’t be thrilled about their ex-husband dating Jennifer Lawrence? Fun for everyone.” “Um, do you want me to come over? Anne retrieves the phone and stares intently at the screen for about two minutes. She laughs, quietly at first, and then excruciatingly loudly, and then gives the screen of her phone a gentle kiss. Finally, she shrieks as she hurls the phone against the wall.